alright, not much funny this week, but should update anyway. So, friday game Our party consists of a Ghost Dread Pirate (Played by Seth), a Chaotic Neutral Cleric of Olidimarra (Played by Brian, after his Evil Atheist Cleric died last session), a Loli Paladin of Tyranny (Played by James, see D&D Adventures 3 for description), and a Elemental Savant of Fire (Played by me) as well as a couple of other people who come and go so when last we left our heroes, they had just nearly been wiped out by a pair of invisible, teleporting Shades some of us escaped, and we headed off to the main island on this particular Material Plane, which contains the only way to leave this plane: a single portal, heavily guarded. the island is ruled by a stereotypical Evil Emperor, and his castle takes up half the island by now, we're getting pretty damn tired of this plane, so we get in our flying ghost ship, which gets in line with a bunch of demons and angels all waiting to use the portal when we get to the front of the line, the guards there begin questioning us and the Paladin lets slip that she wants to become a god which is interpreted as "We want to kill the Emperor", so the guards, along with a wizard and a death slaad, try to kill us they fail miserably lol because the Paladin is riding a Huge Gelatinous Cube, which is on the boat with the rest of us, 40-50 feet off the ground and the Paladin tells it to jump off the side of the boat and 25 tons of Ooze falling 40ft. onto your head hurts A LOT. I also managed to use one of my most powerful fire spells on them, and did 150 damage to each and every one of them I would later regret this, as it was overkill and I would need that spell so we manage to take them all out and the wizard had a "Wizard Sombrero", which is just a seriously large wizard hat, and later I cast Identify on it and the DM says, "It's a hat of +4 INT..." and I say, "Oh, I give it to the Paladin." and THEN the DM continues, "... it also does Chain Lightning 1/day, and Dancing Lights and Silent Image 3/day" at which point all I can say is "WHAT" good item huh so I ended up giving the Paladin the best loot of the day anyway after we kill the guards, the Asimar behind us in line walks up to us and says, "Thanks for killing the guards, but couldn't you have left the wizard? There's a big magic gate that keeps the portal from being accessed, and the wizard was the only one who could open it." LOL so I look at the Asimar, then I look at the gate, then I cast "Disintegrate" on the gate, then I look back at the Asimar, and say, "What gate?" the Asimar gives me a ring as thanks, and says to use it when we need healing, then goes through the portal. so we start letting people through the portal, until we hear a large number of guards bearing down on us so we all get back on our ghost ship, and fly up, and see around 200 guards, all carrying magical bows and swords, heading towards us on top of that, we see a Chaos Roc, followed by three normal Rocs, flying straight for us and the Chaos Roc is a serious monster, CR 22 and nearly 500 hit points and we're only level 13 at this point so the DM is playing for keeps so the first thing I do is cast Greater Invisibility on myself, and use my boots of levitation to fly away from the ghost ship and, not knowing that the Chaos Roc has a Fort Save of +27, I decide to use Disintegrate on it and the save is only 23, which means the Roc makes it on anything but a 1, and would only take 30 damage, which would barely scratch it and the DM rolls a 1! so it takes 156 damage instead and the Paladin casts Magic Circle Against Chaos on the boat, so the Roc can't get close enough to attack and the Ghost Dread Pirate uses telekinesis to take twelve magic large greatswords from the guards below, and begins shredding Rocs with them long story short, we start making quick work of these guys, because neither the Paladin, the Dread Pirate, or I can be hit by the Chaos Roc because the Paladin is inside both the Ooze and the Magic Circle, the Dread Pirate is incorporeal, and I'm invisble and flying. unfortunately, the Chaos Roc uses Color Spray, which kills the Cleric and makes the Paladin insane (well, more insane) luckily, the Paladin's Ooze is intelligent, so James just plays it in the meantime the session was mostly battle, so it's fun to play but pretty boring to listen to we eventually take down the Rocs and all the guards we each gain 39,421 xp, enough to gain two levels and we collect all the magic stuff on the battlefields, which includes 200 magic greatswords, 200 magic bows, and a bunch of other stuff and we each get 419384 gold worth of equipment and such which is a serious haul for characters of our level and is so much stuff that the DM is having us sell it off bit by bit so we kill everyone, and then I use the magic ring to call the Asimar, who revives the Cleric and along with her arrives a Paladin of Ehlonna, who tells off the Asimar for helping out our Chaotic Neutral and Lawful Evil party and, as we're sailing away, I yell to the Paladin, "Your forests are so much prettier when they're on fire!" which, of course, angers him to no end and at this point, it was 4am, so we stopped. Next session, we have to decide to either overthrow the Emperor, or go through the portal and that's all for tonight, I'll do a double update of the Sunday campaign on Monday, since there was no Friday Campaign this week