D&D Adventures Time! so, friday game Our party consists of a Ghost Dread Pirate (Played by Seth), a Chaotic Neutral Warlock/Cleric of Olidimarra (Played by Brian), a Loli Paladin of Tyranny (Played by James, see D&D Adventures 3 for description), and a Elemental Savant of Fire (Played by me) The Paladin's name is Kira Daidohji, and my Sorcerer's name is Thomas Aleeth. This becomes important for the Sunday game. oh cool part 5! * Aardwolf gathers round oooh :p undead aeris still lingers on in my mind XD so when last we left our heroes, they had just taken out the main part of the Emperor's army, and had to decide whether to kill the Emperor or get the hell off this backwater plane we decide to head to the Elemental Plane of Fire, because the City of Brass is the only place we'll be able to sell 200 magic swords and 200 magic bows without taking major price cuts so we go to the portal off the plane, and after a couple of not-very-effective ambushes by the Emperor's spellcasters, we make it through the portal also, at this point in time, the Gnome Ranger rides off into the sunset, to go tend to his seacows. Naturally. Can't have the seacows going unmilked just because he's off adventuring exactly his player has another character in the works, we might see him in a session or two so we make it to the City of Brass, and after a bit of searching, we find a weapons shop run by an Efreeti who's willing to buy our magic swords and bows, if we'll spend some money here as well so Kira buys a ~7d6 magical Great falchion, and we ask where the nearest Wonderous Item store is and the Efreeti (He gave his name as Ahajabad) says, "It's right next door, just give me a moment." and he knocks on the wall between the two shops, and a door appears. He walks into the empty magic items store, places himself behind the counter, and says, "This is Ashiim's Magic Items! How can I help you?" and it turns out he actually runs every store on the block, just with a different name so we acquire our desired items from him, and begin searching for something to do at which point we hear that Nerul is planning to attack the 8th layer of the 9 Hells and Kira is not okay with this, since her mount (who is also her girlfriend) happens to be from the 9 Hells so we head off to the 8th Layer, and head to Mephistopheles' Castle along the way, the Cleric sells his soul to an archfiend (he's planning to go Hellfire Warlock), and we meet an Eirenies (or however you spell the lawful evil version of the succubus), which Kira manages to creep the fuck out, because she's trying to become the God of Fetishes, and apparently there are some things even Sex Devils won't do. Maybe a real succubus would. The lawful bit is probably... restrictive Still, good job out-creeping a devil :D I don't know, if you walked up to a Succubus and pulled out a hacksaw and asked "Wanna help me cut some things off?", I still think she'd be freaked out Good point when Kira achieves godhood, I believe the domains she is going to grant were "Tentacles", "/d/", and "Guro". She'll be the Arch-Patron of Hentai :p anyway, we get to Mephistopheles' Castle, and he's pretty awesome (We're both constantly on fire). He offers to give us 10gp for every zombie we kill from Nerul's invading hordes, and sends us on our way. so the party starts doing some calculations, and we can kill like 3 million zombies in a single day at which point the DM decides that, after we kill 1.5 million zombies in the first day, Nerul goes, "What the fuck!?" and pulls back his armies. Heh Presumably to protect his coffers from your inevitable raid when payday rolls around so we head back to Mephistopheles, and we ask for our 15 million gold and he wants to make a deal with us instead if we steal the Ruby Rod of Asmodeus for him, he'll give us a level of the 9 Hells and a free favor for each of us, whatever we want. talking in epic discussion both Kira and Thomas agree to this instantly, as Kira wants a level of the 9 Hells and Thomas would love to have Mephistopheles himself with an army of devils behind him when he takes over the City of Brass. the session ended there, as we needed to figure out how the fuck we were going to pull this off Heh. I can imagine we're pulling epic rogue stuff at lvl 16, with no rogue. Actually I can't, not off the top of my head. But I look forward to finding out :D We have a Plan. Ah That explains everything not the Cylon Plan, but still a good plan Oh Damn So no getting a hot chick to seduce their lead defense programmer and insert a back door? nope our party, if given the option, tends to bluff their way in the front door instead of sneaking in a back door so, Sunday Game Yes. I shall cease my interruptions and just enjoy the story when last we left our heroes, they had just convinced Aslan (aka Jesus Allegory Lion) to go with the maid, fulfilling their quest and letting them off the hook... or so they thought so they still had a fat Dwarf about to be hung for the third time back in the previous city (it's set in an alternate medieval Earth, just before the Renaissance, and we're in Italy right now), so the party heads off to rescue him and at the gates of the city, they see a Satyr in Shinto robes: http://www.travelswithsheila.com/Day%2012%20kiyomizu%20ceremony%202.jpg he was sent by the "Master" (The fuck-off wizard who's been railroading the party until now), and reveals that the "Master" actually works for a God named Kira Daidohji, who is currently residing in Japan so the whole party and I (I'm the Satyr) head into town to rescue the Dwarf oh wow Is that a nod to the Kira from the other campaign? it's the same character James plays Kira in the Friday Campaign, and included her as an NPC in the Sunday Campaign, which he runs. It does explain a lot about the Japan of today... :D doesn't it? anyway, it takes a little while, but we succeed in rescuing the Dwarf, and on the way out, are attacked by a monk we knock him out, and loot him and he's got like 30lbs. of various drugs on him so the Gnoll decides to smoke some, which leads us into a Bar fight and all sorts of trippy DM narrations eventually, we get out of town, and decide to head north, because we heard there's Elves in the Rhineland who can make us all sorts of magic items oh, I forgot, the fat Dwarf left the party when we left town, because his player is now playing the pedophile Elf Ranger instead Along the way, we manage to kill a Frost Giant by dropping it from 140ft. in the air it's about this time that the Succubus makes her decision on her alternate forms: Normal Sexy Human Female, Lolita, and Labyrinth-era David Bowie: http://im-possible.info/images/art/films/labyrinth/bowie_labyrinth.jpg it's getting late, so we camp out in the Frost Giant's cave and all of a sudden, the maid from earlier shows up, with a big suit of Full Plate made for a Dwarf Paladin, who is still in the party the Paladin inspects it, and it looks ok except for the holy symbol on the front, which is that of Kira Daidohji, and as a devout Catholic Dwarf, he wants nothing to do with it Out of curiosity... is the holy symbol a tentacle of some sort? :D What do you love about the Tentacle? so the Succubus puts it on, and we find out that it's magic, as it turns into a frilly maid outfit with tentacles coming out of the back Would seem appropriate for that, erm, deity :p Heh yeah Too bad the dwarf didn't try it yeah Male dwarf paladin in a frilly maid outfit with bonus tentacles... so the Succubus turns into the Lolita form, and now there's a tentacled Goth-Lolita in the cave which is like a dream come true for the Ranger, so he runs up and gets grabbed by the tentacles at which point the Succubus turns into David Bowie Form, which makes things into a nightmare for the Ranger so the maid tells them how to turn off the armor, and the Succubus does so at which point, David Bowie literally leaps out of the collar of the armor, and begins seducing the maid, which ends with them doing it on the Frost Giant bed everyone else tries to get some sleep too, but a cat wanders in from the snow, mewwing incessantly. The Nymph feeds it, but it doesn't help throughout the night, the only one to consistently fail his Will Save to fall asleep is the Ranger, which means he gets no sleep. and this is a good point to stop, I have things to do. Look forward to more of this later this week.